In October of 2008, just as the economic crisis really showed its nasty face, I was chatting with one of the girls outside the little locally owned glasses frame shop she worked at, Mr Peabody's. She was taking a quick break and I was on my way to drop yet another couple hundred bucks on clothes. It was here she brought up the idea, something she had seen on one of the news shows she follows.
I was immediately up for the experiment. Which is what it always is with us...an experiment. We always have fun ideas of things to get together for but rarely do we stick with it long and, knowing the personalities of each of us, it could have some issues.
We started simple.
The first meeting, over wine and munchies, we discussed what we wanted out of the group. Weekly meetings for a few hours seemed reasonable, the wine and eats were considered an easy inclusion and kept us talking. We knew we wanted to handle our finances better, but we didn't really know how we were going to do it. So we decided to simply bring with us each week what we owed in debt, what our bills were on a monthly basis, our income, and what we spent for the week.
The effect was profound and immediate. I don't believe any of us had any idea how much we really spent on random items throughout the week. This 'mystery spending' - part denial, part mental accounting, and part apathy - was making up the majority of our spending. Most of us were lucky to have even 100.00 in savings and living precariously from pay check to pay check. Then, within just a few short weeks something started to happen...
First, we had decided the only way this group would work was to have full disclosure. All our little spending demons, skeletons in the collectors offices, and impulsive primates had to be out on the table for all of us to see and talk about with polite - but firm - criticism. And coupled with that, Complete Trust. Nothing we talked about inside these meetings was to be translated outside of the meetings. Everything, from all those faults we have to work out to what we make and our goals, had to come with the trust that it stayed between us. Failure to do so would result in the perpetrator getting the boot. We understood that, maybe not now, but as we grow financially, this information could be a liability if shared with Joe-shmoe on the street.
We met - and still meet - weekly. One night a week over wine we started to take a real, quantitative, look at how much we spent and how deep each of our holes were. We print our bank statements, sum the spending for the week, and discuss it openly with the group. We each know each other's goals and spending tendencies and hold each other accountable.
There is more I will discuss in the next blog but first it is important to understand: those were the single most striking moments for each of us and that is when things really started to change. Within three weeks most of us had cut our spending by half or more. Within 2 months some of us had paid major pieces of debt off. For myself, I have paid $10, 024 in debt. Which, aside from my student loans, is all but a couple hundred dollars of my total debt. I own my car outright as of last weekend and am on my way to very healthy savings. It took 6 months and some serious 'letting go' - which came surprisingly easy. I never thought it would have the effect on me it has so far.
I recommend taking a deep look at where you want to be a year, 3 years, and even as far as retirement then compare it to where you are now. After that make a few phone calls and chat with those girlfriends whom you trust. By simply starting the dialog you may be well on your way to a financial group. By all means get together over wine and hors d'oeuvres, this is a chance to not only get your finances in line but to get together with the ladies and touch base - nothing eases the truth among friends like a little boozish and food.
First, we had decided the only way this group would work was to have full disclosure. All our little spending demons, skeletons in the collectors offices, and impulsive primates had to be out on the table for all of us to see and talk about with polite - but firm - criticism. And coupled with that, Complete Trust. Nothing we talked about inside these meetings was to be translated outside of the meetings. Everything, from all those faults we have to work out to what we make and our goals, had to come with the trust that it stayed between us. Failure to do so would result in the perpetrator getting the boot. We understood that, maybe not now, but as we grow financially, this information could be a liability if shared with Joe-shmoe on the street.
We met - and still meet - weekly. One night a week over wine we started to take a real, quantitative, look at how much we spent and how deep each of our holes were. We print our bank statements, sum the spending for the week, and discuss it openly with the group. We each know each other's goals and spending tendencies and hold each other accountable.
There is more I will discuss in the next blog but first it is important to understand: those were the single most striking moments for each of us and that is when things really started to change. Within three weeks most of us had cut our spending by half or more. Within 2 months some of us had paid major pieces of debt off. For myself, I have paid $10, 024 in debt. Which, aside from my student loans, is all but a couple hundred dollars of my total debt. I own my car outright as of last weekend and am on my way to very healthy savings. It took 6 months and some serious 'letting go' - which came surprisingly easy. I never thought it would have the effect on me it has so far.
I recommend taking a deep look at where you want to be a year, 3 years, and even as far as retirement then compare it to where you are now. After that make a few phone calls and chat with those girlfriends whom you trust. By simply starting the dialog you may be well on your way to a financial group. By all means get together over wine and hors d'oeuvres, this is a chance to not only get your finances in line but to get together with the ladies and touch base - nothing eases the truth among friends like a little boozish and food.
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